“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.” ~Aldous Huxley
Hard to believe it's July already... and even harder to believe July's almost over. Little Tyke will have been in Z for exactly eight months tomorrow. I dare not even try and imagine the changes that have happened in *his* life since then, so I'll just focus on the changes in mine.
For years now, I've been yearning for more fulfillment in my professional life, yet to even try to make that happen for myself without a fool-proof plan seemed selfish at best. The fact my current job was not even showing me the simple courtesy of paying my bills wasn't helping. I was in a place where everything was about money, making ends meet; just month-to-month to month stuff. Depressing as hell. The goal became to simply get a job that paid me better, forget about a job that actually made me feel better.
Of course, that went against everything I stood for. Every fibre of my being rebelled against that paradigm and the agonising conformity of it all. But, I was a mother; a wife; part of a team - so I needed to do what I needed to do. For the team. I had accepted it. I was ready for it. I was going to do it.
But the universe, as I was to later find out, had something else in store for me.
Anyway, once - with the help (i.e. persistent 'advice') of The Mr - I got over my paralysing sense of loyalty to my 'boss', I started looking. I wrote her a letter explaining it all... How I was struggling financially, how I had a passion for interior design and how I, basically, didn't know what the Fuck I was doing! (The phrase, 'You ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell up outta here' comes to mind). I'd had it. I didn't say it in as many words, but I had had it!
The search started off with gusto. I knew I wanted to go into online & digital marketing. I was so interested in it, I knew I could do it and I'd be great at it. All I needed was to get my foot in the door. But eventually, the hours and hours of research; a multitude of CV drafts, applications, customised cover-letters and fruitless follow-ups had me spent. I broadened the search to include even the same brain-dead mundanity I had been doing for the past six years. Still nothing. Enthusiasm waned and soon enough my old friend, self-pity, came back for an extended visit.
It was The Mr (bless his soul) who kept things going... sending my CV out, speaking to his friends, acquaintances and any recruitment agents he'd found along the way. Then, finally, it happened. A breakthrough. The Mr made the hook-up and I sealed the deal with the interview. I started working there almost as quickly as the opportunity came about. And it's been beautiful!
It's a small start-up and the position is just part-time and only a supplement to my current salary, but it also happens to have placed my foot squarely in the exact door I wanted. The best part is my 'new boss' has so much passion and vision. It's infectious. I feel valued; like I'm a part of something. So now, even though the end-of-the-month still comes with the same old worries, somehow everything has changed. The money doesn't even really matter because for the first time in a long time I'm loving what I do.
The biggest lesson? It's actually made me a better mother; a better wife; a better part of the team. All because it's made me a better ME!
